Are you thinking of having a second baby? Trying to conceive and finding it’s taking longer than you expected? Trying for the first time after being on contraception for many years? Russell Davis, one of the speakers at The Fertility Show, shows you how to free your mind to improve fertility.
As the 3.5 million people in the UK who experience fertility issues will know too well, it is very easy to become stressed about why you may be struggling to conceive and you may start to think that you may never fall pregnant. Whilst this is entirely natural, the reality is that stress caused by fearful thoughts and limiting beliefs can affect fertility and conception, reducing your chance of getting pregnant whether naturally or with fertility treatment.
Russell Davis, Cognitive Hypnotherapist, Founder of The Fertile Mind and seminar speaker at The Fertility Show, provides his top tips on how best to free your mind and improve fertility:
- Talk to your partner – many people keep their emotions bottled up and find it difficult to share their feelings about their fertility with their partner. Not sharing and understanding what the other is feeling can prevent a couple from feeling united in their journey. It is very important to talk to each other and to remember that you two as a couple and your relationship came before the thought of having a baby. Try to go on dates and focus your time on each other rather than the fact that you are struggling to conceive.
- Stop putting your life on hold – ‘Project Baby’ can become all-consuming and become the main focus of life. This puts more pressure on the process and outcome. Our thinking tricks us by telling us nothing will make us happier than having a baby. However, the truth is that this is us loosing perspective on life. I advise patients not to lose sight of other goals, ambitions and inspirations when they are trying to conceive. I’ve had many clients who begin to realise that whatever happens they are going to be OK and this allows them to crack on with building the business they always wanted to start, or get on with the house renovations. It’s not surprising that they get pregnant a few months after this change in mindset. This is why you hear of couples getting pregnant soon after they give up trying. When life flows your body flows.
- Know where your feelings come from – The fertility journey is often described as an emotional roller-coaster. It’s a rollercoaster because most people don’t understand where their feelings come from. We think “things” make us feel things. e.g. your boss shouts at you and you feel rubbish. Nothing has the power to make us feel anything. 100% of our experience comes from our thinking about the situation not the situation. This is why some days feel worse than others. Our circumstances haven’t changed but our thinking in that moment has. The more we understand where our experience comes from the less we get scared of it and the more we can know it’s thought which comes and goes. It’s not our circumstances, it’s not us.
- Be present and don’t live in the future – Make sure that you are living in the present instead of living in a future that may or may not happen. Fear of not getting pregnant is future thinking. Nothing can predict the future, not even your thinking. When we are present we can’t be fearful. True happiness comes from being connected to a moment, to others in that moment – so I advise clients to really try to re-connect with the world around them and gain enjoyment from small, every day pleasures – socialising with friends and families, good food, exercise etc.
- Harness your mind and body – The mind and body are one system. There are plenty of studies showing how our minds affect our body, and how we can actively harness this to create changes in our biology. Your mind controls your bodily functions including balancing hormones and other critical processes required for successful conception and pregnancy. Using hypnosis is a great way of helping your mind and body feel more positive and in control, it re-tunes your unconscious mind to help you let go of stress, anxiety, lack of belief, or whatever it is that could be holding your body back from doing what you want it to do.
Sarah, a patient of the Fertile Mind programme, comments; “I went through IVF last year and I really do feel like I owe Russell’s programme for our success. His voice was a constant presence in my life and the hypnosis helped me relax and turn something very scary into something positive. We had a beautiful daughter. I met with the doctor yesterday and he greeted us by saying, “You two are the luckiest couple I’ve ever seen.” I was told I had no chance of conceiving due to my stage 4 endometriosis and the damage it had done to my eggs combined with an undetectable ovarian reserve. Very painful to hear. And yet – I got one egg, one embryo, and one beautiful daughter!”
For more information, Russell Davis will be speaking at The Fertility Show which is taking place in London, Olympia on 4th & 5th November, for tickets please visit the website.